


Need - Obsessive - Possessive

by TommyLane



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adultery, Bondage (not extreme), Dirty Talk, Dominate Draco, Language, M/M, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:37:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6504754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TommyLane/pseuds/TommyLane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry never would have thought that he was someone capable of cheating but that was before he knew the depths obsession could bring him to. It curdled his heart, festering, and growing, and demanding. He tried to stay away but the need was like a living thing inside him - pulling him to Malfoy like a moth to a flame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Need - Obsessive - Possessive

**Author's Note:**

> Please heed the warnings, if you can't tolerate adultery (and debasing language aimed at Ginny mostly) then venture no further!

  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
The door stood open between them, the interior warm and glowing in a soft light, casting its candle soft hue over Malfoy's pale exposed chest where the bathrobe didn't close completely and sending his hard edged gray eyes into shadows. Harry stood on the opposite side, in the dark, the cold, his hand firm around his wand, his jaw clenched around the explanation Malfoy demanded.  
  
"I needed..." Harry breathed and stopped, looking away from the scowl on Malfoy's features, he couldn't stand to see it, not now, not when everything inside him ached.  
  
"Go home Potter." Malfoy spat his name like he used to, like he did _that_ night. "Your wife is waiting no doubt."  
  
Harry winced. That stung, deep inside the secret little pocket of his heart and all the way through his entire being even though it shouldn't have. He shouldn't have come and Malfoy was right he should be home, with his wife. His sweet, caring _wife_ who thought he had been called away for work because that was what he had told her when he flew out of bed and rammed his shoes on without bothering to change out of his pajamas. He never thought he could be someone capable of cheating but that was before he knew the depths obsession could bring him to. It curdled inside him, festering, and growing, and demanding, sickening his mind and his heart.  
  
He should leave, he knew that, he could see it in Malfoy's eyes that were staring back at him with ugly outrage. "I can't." His voice sounded too breathy, too broken, even to him and he despised himself a little bit more because of it.  
  
God he was sick and demented and just what the fuck was he thinking coming here, to Malfoy's home in the middle of the damn night? Just what was he here for? Nothing had changed between them. Harry was still married and Malfoy...Malfoy obviously still didn't want to even look at him. But he needed to see him, it had been too long since he'd looked upon Malfoy's face, since he'd seen the curve of the other man's body, the gentle pink lines of his lips, or heard his voice dripping with sarcasm or the deeper emotions that he liked to hide away and pretend didn't exist.  
  
"Then I'll do it for you." Malfoy glowered and moved to slam the door in Harry's face.  
  
Harry panicked as the door swung towards him, cutting off the sight of the one thing he desperately needed, needed in too many terrifying ways but he'd deal with that later - just like he always promised himself he would. "Wait!" He cried out, slamming his open palm against the approaching wood and pushing back on it as his foot slid forward to keep it from shutting any further.  
  
"Get out of my house Potter." Malfoy snapped, snarling in his face as Harry advanced past the threshold.  
  
"No." Harry shook his head, his heart pounding furiously as he caught a whiff of Malfoy, his woodsy shampoo combined with the clean scent that was purely him.  
  
Malfoy narrowed his eyes dangerously, standing tall and erect, unmoving and unflinching even though Harry was nearly standing on toes, his gray eyes swimming before the black haired man’s vision like a dream that kept blinking and trying to shatter the illusion - but each time they opened and Harry felt his pulse quicken and breath hitch. "What do you want?" Malfoy's voice was hissed, his mouth a hard line that was so very close to Harry's own cold lips that hadn't felt warm for months now.  
  
"I need..." Harry murmured again, his eyes locked on the pink lips before him, lips that were beckoning him and spilling their warmth across his.  
  
Malfoy rolled his eyes and took a step back, taking with him his warmth and scent and threatening to make the ache increase tenfold inside Harry's chest. "So you've said. Now either articulate further or get out."  
  
"I..." Harry gulped and reached towards thin air that was frustratingly Malfoy free as the blonde had taken another swift step backwards, out of reach of Harry's searching fingers.  
  
"I changed my mind." He crossed his arms over his exposed chest, the black silk on either side shifting and clinging to life on his slim shoulders. "Just get out. Now." A wand slipped into Malfoy's hand seemingly out of nowhere and Harry felt everything stop around him as he found himself staring down its wooden length.  
  
"Dra-"  
  
"Don't you dare." Malfoy was all ice, his knuckles whitening around his wand.  
  
"Please." Harry pleaded, unsure just what he was asking but knowing he meant it with every fiber of his being.  
  
"You've said all that needs to be said already. And quite clearly." The wand twitched in Malfoy's grasp as he spoke, looking for a moment as if he was truly going to curse the man intruding in his home.  
  
Harry waited with bated breath, knowing he deserved whatever was thrown at him but nothing came, the room was still, all but their breathing that seemed unnaturally loud. Hope bloomed in his chest. "Not all of it." He replied, sliding cautiously forward, drawn to the man before him like a moth to the flame - a flame that burns bright and licks his skin, leaving it's mark deep inside him every time.  
  
"I somehow doubt that." Malfoy bit back. "There's still a ginger slut in your bed?" Harry nodded and Malfoy growled, glancing down at Harry's hand by his side. "And the rings still on your finger and let me guess...your still the perfect husband?"  
  
"This isn't about Ginny." Harry said, taking four more steps while Malfoy was distracted with his own anger that was starting to make the room boil around them.  
  
"Isn't it _always_ though? That is until you get tired of sticking your cock in her pussy and you start craving more. What is it this time Potter? Is she too wet? Too loose? Or maybe you don't want to be sticking it anywhere but instead want to lay back and have a cock up your arse pounding you until you can't see." Malfoy's voice was pure venom but Harry had to bite his lip to keep from groaning anyway, the last remnant of blood still in his head rushing south to swell his member to painful hardness - not that the feeling was anything new, he had been walking around half hard for days, every little thought of Malfoy making his cock twitch and his chest hurt.  
  
And he knew he should have been outraged that someone was speaking of his wife like that but he just couldn't seem to muster the extra energy to care, not when Malfoy was right _there_ , looking like an avenging angel who could finally make the emptiness inside him go away - the man who could make him finally feel _full_.  
  
"Yes." Harry heard himself whisper as he took another step. "I want to be fucked."  
  
Malfoy made an impatient noise. "Well too bad, go poke your wife and pretend it's good."  
  
Harry shook his head almost violently. "No, I need you."  
  
"You don't need me, you just _want_ my cock and you can't have it." Malfoy looked like he meant it, every little line of his body hard and tense, his stance screaming at Harry to just turn around and leave - everything except his gaze that flickered when he asked to be taken, lighting with the spark that set Harry's blood on fire.  
  
He knew he couldn't argue with Malfoy, that there was no convincing him otherwise, not with all that had happened between them. So he didn't even try, instead he lunged. There were five steps between them and Harry flew towards the glowering man with all his might, his arms gripping strong, lean shoulders, his mouth smashing violently against the plump lips he couldn't stop dreaming about. The world spun and righted itself in the same moment as the taste of Malfoy flooded his senses, his scent wrapping around him, his hard body delightfully real against Harry's.  
  
Malfoy stumbled and then went stiff, his lips open but hard against Harry's own, Harry's arms clutching tight, his heart pounding violently and his wand rolling somewhere forgotten on the floor. "Fuck off Potter." He snarled, ripping his mouth away seconds before his hand was stinging sharp against Harry's flushed cheek.  
  
Pain spread through his skin, sinking into his jaw, and Harry blinked through the spots that went dancing across his vision - his mouth already open around refuting words but Malfoy wasn't finished. The glowering man pushed him back, hit him with the back of his hand, and grabbed the front of his jacket hanging open over his pajamas as he stumbled. "You are are a selfish arsehole." He spit the words in Harry's face, his hands curling into fists in the thin fabric, pulling hard and jerking him forward as Malfoy started moving - dragging Harry's quickly scrambling feet across the foyer and into his study down the hall.  
  
His study. God he had so many memories of the man's home work space. Of being kissed against the door, of the feel of the wood paneling against his cheek, of the smell of the large leather chair, of the feel of Malfoy inside him for the first time as he gripped the high back. Harry felt light headed as he caught sight of said chair behind the grand mahogany desk, the floor to ceiling bookshelf's overflowing with volumes in an orderly, color coded fashion, his gaze skipping over the scantly stuffed settee where Malfoy let him take him for the first time. His pulse raced as he was pushed towards the desk, his hands catching himself against the polished surface, his breath already ragged in his chest.  
  
"Keep your hands on the desk and don't you dare turn around." Malfoy growled and Harry nodded, his head hanging as he wondered just exactly when all shame had left him. He knew it would return, it always did, usually when he was standing on the stoop of his home with his wife and children asleep inside. It would attack him until he felt like he couldn't breathe and he would swear to himself that he would stop, that he was done with this.  
  
His resolve never lasted long.  
  
He had looked up the word obsession once, late at night when he couldn't sleep, had felt the notations shifting the weight in his chest - giving his infatuation a name. Because he was obsessed, his need an unhealthy pit where he'd lost all control of himself.  
  
He let out a whimper when Malfoy's hand grasped his hips, yanking the elastic band of his sleep pants down until they pooled at his feet - leaving his lower half completely exposed. "You're such a slut for this." His voice was hard, edged razor sharp, his touch unyielding as he pressed his hands against Harry's firm arse.  
  
"Yes." Harry whispered, closing his eyes tight and imagining the look on Malfoy's face as he pried Harry's cheeks apart - pictured the furrowed brow and frowning lips and the pink tint that always betrayed him on his high cheek bones. "Oh fuck!" He cried, the slap sharp and not all together unexpected.  
  
"Does she do this to you?" Malfoy demanded, his words punctuated with three quick, stinging hits, turning Harry's backside red and hot beneath the other man's cool touch. "Does that lovely wife of yours bend you over and spank you raw?"  
  
Harry shook his head quickly, his legs spreading a little as he pressed back into Malfoy's fingers, his breath hitching on each slap, stringing his body so taut he felt like a bow ready to snap. "No." He whined, his head hanging limp as his arms started to shake with the effort to keep still. Malfoy was relentless when he gave into this side of himself and Harry loved every second of it. He could vividly remember the first time Malfoy had spanked him, in his own office, right before a meeting with the Wizengamot - bending him over his lap, yanking his trousers down, and hitting him till his skin burned hot. He had come ridiculously hard from just two quick strokes after Malfoy had spanked his fill and the look on the blondes face after still haunted Harry's dreams. He hadn't put it together till later that night that it had been Malfoy seeing him having lunch with Ginny, a quick peck placed on her lips as they separated that had sent the man into such a state and action.  
  
He was always roughest with Harry after such things happened, he was always softest with the change of each new month.  
  
"Won't degrade her enough to ask?" Malfoy hissed, sounding very much like a snake, his fingers probing into Harry's heated backside, rubbing till it stung sharp before pulling back and smacking him again. "Is that why you're here? Does our Savior need to be reminded of the pit he crawled from?"  
  
"Draco." He moaned his name, loving the sound of it on his own tongue, the weight of it, the feel of it - it was a name he needed to say, a name that carved itself deeper inside himself each time he did, whether while beneath the man himself or in his dreams or with his hand moving over himself in a silenced shower. The first time he had said it Malfoy had pushed him down to the floor and took him slow and sweet, took him like he was something he couldn't part from. His elbows buckled, crashing against the wood as he fell forward onto the desk with a particularity hard slap ringing in his ears and aching through his bones. "God yes."  
  
"Do not call me that." Malfoy rebutted, the clothes on Harry's back suddenly gone and leaving him completely naked and exposed. "You are a fucking greedy slut, prancing around the Ministry like god, parading your family about, smiling for the cameras. So fucking perfect, aren't you Potter? And yet here you are."  
  
"I need you." Harry whispered, his face burning in that shame that rarely reached him while in Malfoy's presence.  
  
Malfoy's laugh was mirthless and cruel, though Harry couldn't help the thought that it also held a hint of self-deprecation and he had to shut his eyes and fist his hands to keep from voicing thoughts and desires that he knew would only make Malfoy snap. Harry had told him he loved him once and Malfoy had tied him to the bed with rough ropes, fucking him for hours until Harry couldn't even remember that he was expected in a different home, in a different bed. It was the first time he had stayed the whole night and he was woken the next morning with Malfoy sliding inside his still loose backside and making him feel like all his bones and tissue had melted into nothing for the rest of the day. He had still smelled like Malfoy when he finally returned home and Ginny had stood at the top of the stairs, staring at him like she knew.  
  
"Don't move." He ordered, the sound of feet on wood flooring and a door shutting echoing through the now silent room.  
  
Dropping his head into his hands, Harry held himself as still as he possibly could with his backside on fire and his body aching. He tried not to panic as the minutes ticked by and Malfoy didn't return, telling himself that Malfoy wouldn't leave him, that he wouldn't walk away knowing Harry was obediently waiting for him - his body open and willing for anything. He wouldn't...Malfoy wanted him, Harry knew he did, it had been their mutual desire that had been their downfall after all. But then the night had come, where Malfoy's face had twisted and not in pleasure, when his voice had been nothing but venom, his hand clutching the newspaper - the front page plastered with his and Ginny's faces, the scrawling font happily announcing the birth of their child.  
  
"Fucking hell." He laughed quietly at himself, a sound that too closely resembled the one Malfoy had let loose before leaving him stuck to his desk by Harry's own will power. He really was a fucking selfish slut.  
  
But he needed Malfoy, needed him like he needed air.  
  
He had no idea how long it was before Malfoy finally came back, the door softly clicking open, even paced footsteps of his bare feet against the floor, and then a weathered box was placed gently down beside Harry on the desk. All doubt, all inward hatred, flooded right back out of him as Harry stared at the familiar box, his heart pounding so violently he feared Malfoy would hear it. It took everything he had not to move, not to turn around, and fasten his lips to the other man's, to soften the hard line of his mouth and make those rarely heard moans vibrate against his tongue. Just one kiss, Merlin he needed to feel his mouth.  
  
He gasped in unexpected delight as Malfoy grasped his hair and pulled him back into a hard kiss, the blonde's long body pressing tight against him as Harry craned his neck and fought with the tongue invading his mouth. It was a ruthless kiss, full of sharp teeth, but his lips were scorching hot, the taste he'd been yearning for filling his mouth and it was bliss. He let out a sharp cry as Malfoy rubbed his silk covered crotch into Harry's still smarting backside, his skin igniting once more, his cock swelling too full and aching.  
  
"Kneel on the floor." Malfoy commanded, ending the kiss just as abruptly as it started, withdrawing his body completely along with it and leaving Harry trembling. The wood of the floor felt wonderful against his knee's as Harry sank to the ground, his eyes lifting to lock on Malfoy's as he did so, his tongue peeking out to lick his lips in anticipation. "You won't be sucking me Potter." He smirked as he took carefully measured steps towards Harry. "Anything that slut does for you, you won't be getting from me." He stopped right before him, his own knees bending as he dropped to the floor in front of him, his gaze hard and unreadable. "Understand?"  
  
Harry nodded and bit his tongue from pointing out that Ginny didn't blow him anymore, he didn't even ask her to, didn't want her to.  
  
"Good. Now tell me how you fuck her and don't leave a thing out."  
  
His request was like twisting a knife in an already fatal wound and Harry had to drop his gaze to the floor between them, staring at his own naked knees opposite Malfoy's pale ones peeking out from under the robe. Malfoy was breaking their one rule, their one taboo. "Malfoy..."  
  
"Tell me." He grunted.  
  
"I...I don't...I haven't. Not since..."  
  
"You have a baby boy." Malfoy said through gritted teeth. "That doesn't happen from keeping your cock to yourself."  
  
Biting his tongue, Harry glanced up, unprepared for the darkness raging through his gray irises. "I haven't since then." It was true, he hadn't gone beyond some kissing and light touching, anything further - even that - was too much for him, made him think of platinum hair and gray eyes and a long lean body. Made him long for his voice and his quiet laugh and his soft smile that he rarely showed. It had been easy at first, while she was pregnant, she had been so ill she hadn't wanted it either and Harry had dedicated himself to helping her through it. Then their son was born, a beautiful boy, the spitting image of his father and Harry had nearly broken down holding him in his arms.  
  
He loved his son instantly, but he couldn't help the horrible, traitorous thoughts that this wasn't right - that he didn't deserve it, that they didn't belong to him. He needed his sons but he was a fraud, a fake, and they deserved better.  
  
"It isn't right with her." He said softly.  
  
Malfoy chuckled, that dark bitter sound again. "No Potter, this...this is what isn't right." He gestured between them with his long fingers and elegant wrist. "We are nothing but a disease, a caner, a mockery of society, and they would eat us alive if they knew."  
  
"Draco...please." He whispered, leaning forward, his heart breaking, chipping away so slowly that each day he could feel it crumble a little more.  
  
"Spread your legs, hands by your ankles." Malfoy spat, rising to his feet in one fluid motion and moving away from him again, the hinges of the box on the table squeaking quietly.  
  
With a sigh, Harry carefully laid his head upon the floor as his knees slid out, his arms reaching back until his fingers touched his naked ankles. The touch of distressed leather against his skin wasn't surprising, but the feel of Malfoy's fingers - looping the strap around his wrists and ankles, tying it tight and secure, was. It was a gentle caress, soft despite the secure knots binding him down in an uncomfortable position. It made his stomach flutter and his lips smile despite himself, his teeth biting into his tongue as Malfoy landed a firm slap against his arse raised in display after finishing with one side and before moving onto the other.  
  
"If you won't tell me, I'll just have to guess then." He said, breath ghosting over Harry's thigh as he finished tying down his second hand. "I think it's safe to assume you don't truss her up, nor does she to you. Horizontal, straight legged fucking I imagine. Is that why you come to me? Does she refuse to wiggle a finger up your tight little arse?" His hands spread over Harry's arse cheeks, pulling them apart and squeezing them together, working his fingers into the already tender flesh.  
  
Harry moaned in response, trying to press back into the firm touch.  
  
"Refusing to answer will get you nowhere Potter. In fact if you're going to be obstinate, let’s put that mouth of yours to use." He paused, the sound of unseen objects rolling around in a box reaching his ears before Malfoy was leaning over him, a wicked smirk on his lips and a large flesh colored dildo in his hand. "Open up. Good. Hold it."  
  
Harry tried not to groan as Malfoy pushed the rubbery thing past his lips and deep into his mouth, the girth just wide enough to be slightly uncomfortable but not unbearably so. Malfoy stared openly at him as he pumped it in and out a few time, circling his gaping mouth and smearing a line of spit against his cheeks, before sliding it in deep one last time and withdrawing behind him again - leaving the dildo filling up his mouth and making his ragged breathing puff out loudly from his nose. He wasn't a novice when it came to gags of all sorts as Malfoy seemed to have a love / hate relationship with them - often slipping them between Harry's lips for a while before pulling it free so he could hear Harry's noises unobstructed. Harry didn't mind, he liked his indecision, made him feel wonderfully overtaken.  
  
"Now where were we?" Malfoy pondered out loud and Harry couldn't stop the startled, muffled grunt as cold lube hit the top curve of his arse, the slippery stuff sliding down into his crack and dripping over his balls. Malfoy's fingers were rough as they slid through the clear lube, pushing the liquid against his pucker that twitched under the contact. "Fuck you're greedy for it." He muttered, rubbing his fingers in tight circles as Harry sucked on the dildo to keep himself from moaning like a wanton whore, the sounds leaving his lips regardless as Malfoy pressed one finger through and inside him - filling him up and making the pressure that had been building in his chest light just a little at the feel of it. The gentleness was an overwhelming contrast to the spanking he'd just endured, the finger rubbing in just the right spots, pushing deep until Harry could feel the edge of Malfoy's palm against him.  
  
"Want more?"  
  
Harry nodded quickly, angling his head against the floor in a futile attempt to see the other man behind him.  
  
He groaned as the finger left, leaving him grasping desperately at nothing, before jumping as something cold and plastic smacked against his hole. He twisted and wiggled as the thing rubbed against him, pressing just past his ring before retreating and starting all over again, smacking and rubbing and pressing, until Harry was nothing but a withering mess, desperate to be filled and choking on sobs each time Malfoy refused him more than a taste. He tried to beg around the dildo gagging him and he could hear Malfoy chuckle behind him, an aching cry rising straight out of his chest as the other reached between his legs and grasped his cock - pumping it in time to the hits against his most intimate area.  
  
"When I think of you, this is what I see." Malfoy muttered. "A mess on my floor, so desperate for it. I should leave you like this, sell your picture to the highest bidder so the world can know what I do - Harry Potter, my whore." He punctuated the last word with a vicious thrust, the slick length of the plastic plug slipping inside him, the thick end quickly following and making his eyes roll back in his head as he was stretched wide. "That's it, open that hole up for me." He sounded breathless as the base of the plug came to rest against Harry's arse, his fingers tapping it in quick succession and making it vibrate inside him.  
  
Harry could feel sweat gathering along his forehead, wetting his curls and slipping down his neck, his muscles trembling in his thighs and his stomach flipping as Malfoy ran his hands up his back - running through his hair before retreating back down his body. Malfoy's body half covered in silk bending low over his as the blondes lips came to trace the shell of his ear, biting the lobe, and thrusting his hips against Harry's arse - the man's hard cock sliding against him and pressing the plug deep.  
  
"Are you full enough yet?"  
  
Harry shook his head, pressing back into the other man, a needy whimper leaving his lips at the thought that this was it - that Malfoy was going to leave him teetering on the brink without sending him crashing over the edge.  
  
Malfoy's finger traced the edge of his lips around the dildo as he bit into his neck and continued to rub against him. "No?" He murmured, like it was a surprise, like he didn't intimately know what Harry needed. "I could fuck you with this, is that what you want?" He asked, twisting the dildo and drawing it out until only the tip was between Harry's lips.  
  
The idea was appealing and while he knew it would be unbelievable good - it always was when Malfoy used his toys on him - it wasn't what he needed tonight. He needed no barrier between them. "I need you." He muttered, his words slurred around the head of the toy but still recognizable.  
  
"So you keep saying." He snarled, jamming the toy back between his lips, making him gag and choke. "But then you leave and you warm her bed. You are an animal, coming to me to slate your lust and returning to your den until your need rears its ugly head again." Harry adamantly shook his head and Malfoy spanked him. "Don't fucking lie to me! No one made you marry her, no one held you at wand point until you said your vows, you did it on your own!"  
   
Spitting the dildo out was harder than Harry thought it would be but the moment he managed with spit drawing a line between him and the toy, Harry craned his neck and caught Malfoy's murderous gaze. "I didn't know you wanted me!" He retorted, his chest burning from his position and lack of air and from the hurt that he could see and hear for the first time ever in Malfoy's voice and face.  
  
"So it's my fault?!" Malfoy growled, yanking the plug from his arse with one sharp tug and plunging his cock straight into Harry's gaping hole before his cry of surprise and pain had even receded.  
  
"OH fuck!" He shouted, collapsing face first and panting against the wood.  
  
"What did you want me to do Potter? Make a fool of myself at your wedding? Spew sentimental rubbish just to catch your ear? I was nothing to you then!"  
  
"Draco," he sobbed, his face and knees sliding against the floor as Malfoy gripped his hips and fucked him, hard and fast and unrelenting, driving what felt like a sea of pent up emotion into his movements. The pain was hot and sharp and the pleasure was like nothing he'd felt before, his body nothing but a wall for Malfoy to crash against, burning himself into Harry's skin inside and out. His hands and feet were going numb, his legs and backside throbbing, the air in the room refusing to fill his lungs adequately and thus leaving him gasping and withering and trying to stay up against the force of the man behind him.  
  
"Don't you dare black out." Malfoy growled, his hand squeezing the back of Harry's neck, his thighs spread over Harry's body as he drove down into him. "You're going to fucking feel this and remember this Potter."  
  
"Yes." Harry gasped, his voice raspy and unable to reach higher than a whisper, as he blinked away the black spots seeping into his vision. "O-oh god, fuck me, fuck-yes!" His entire body was shaking, his muscles, his bones, his eyes squeezing shut and open, shut and open, screaming painfully with air he didn't have to spare as his orgasm came shooting through him, the depths of it taking with it all thought and sound, nothing left but the feeling of being overrun and the order to not lose himself completely - the blackness swimming so near and close he could touch it.  
  
"Fucking hell." Malfoy groaned and Harry clung to the sound of his voice, his words broken and hoarse, mostly unintelligible sentences strung together with curses and the deep shattering pounding of their bodies joining. And then he was stilling, his body tense behind him, and Harry closed his eyes and breathed out sharply as Malfoy came inside him.  
  
Harry smiled as he slipped under completely.  
  
  
  
****  
  
  
  
Harry's heart was racing when he came to, his lungs gasping for air.  
  
"Calm down." Malfoy's voice was near, his hand suddenly on his shoulder. "You're alright."  
  
Harry blinked as the room came back into focus, his gaze quickly finding Malfoy who was sitting on the edge of the coffee table beside the settee he was laying on - his body aching and cold and naked. The blonde had his robe back on and tied closed, a crystal tumbler held loosely in his hand, his eyes lidded and tired, his hand a touch unsteady as he lifted it from Harry's skin and ran it through his mussed hair.  
  
Harry nodded as he swallowed thickly, Malfoy's cool gray eyes tracking the bob of his adams apple. He felt completely run through and yet utterly perfect at the same time - the only thing missing was Malfoy's body warming him from behind, his arm around his middle, and his voice talking him down from his fall in his ear. "Sorry." He whispered softly, biting the inside of his cheek as soon as the word left his lips.  
  
Malfoy nodded thoughtfully, his gaze fixing on his drink for a long quiet moment before he spoke. "This can't happen again, do you understand?" He didn't spit the words like he had last time he had said something along the same lines, he was softer, closed off and yet vulnerable at the same time. Tired and worn, the lines of his body and face telling Harry what he wouldn't. Or maybe couldn't.  
  
"Draco-"  
  
"Go home to your family Potter." Emptying the rest of his drink, Malfoy stood stiffly from the table, walking away without a backwards glance, his hand hesitating on the door of his study. "Please don't come back." And then he was gone, Harry feeling his eyes well with tears as his heart clenched terribly tight in his chest.  
  
  
  
****  
  
  
  
His house was dark and quiet when he returned in the early hours of the morning, his hair damp from the mist of the new of the day, his body heavy and trudging wearily in his boots. He stood just shy of the threshold, his face turning into the thick cloak he had taken from Malfoy's closet since the man had vanished his shirt and jacket. The soft fabric smelled like him and Harry closed his eyes tight as he inhaled. He had been walking around for hours, his mind a whirl, skipping down a familiar path that usually left him horribly confused and depressed and always ended with him in Malfoy's arms. And that was the thing wasn't it?  
  
He tried to stay away, time and time again, and yet he always ended up back at the other man's home.  
  
Stepping through the door, Harry closed it softly behind him, his feet quiet on the floor as he walked into his living room, his gaze skipping over the pictures on the mantel - all smiling faces. His beautiful children. Ron and Hermione. Him and Ginny on their wedding day. He had only been nineteen then, his smile sloppy and wide and Ginny looking lovely in her shimmering white dress. He could remember so clearly that first year after the war, how everything felt new and fresh, how he felt caught up on a gusting wind, how he had crashed desperately back into his relationship with her, into his new job as an Auror, how he felt like he had to make up for so much, how he felt like he needed to settle everything before it all came undone. Because he knew it would, his life was never normal for long, there was always a downswing of the pendulum.  
  
He just didn't think that what would end up starting his unraveling would be a blonde pureblood with bony wrists and sneering lips who was trying to pick up the pieces of his life after his family's fall from grace. Maybe if he had been wiser, taken things slower, he would have realized that he didn't love Ginny enough, maybe he would have seen sooner just what Malfoy was to him. Maybe if he hadn't been so caught up in finally living free he wouldn't have ended up in this mess. Because god, it was such a mess. He never meant to betray Ginny, never meant to kiss Malfoy on that autumn day, never meant to fall into bed with him, never meant to fall in love with another man, never meant to hurt him like he was.  
  
He should have been honest from the very beginning because despite everything he had hurt everyone deeply - a fatal wound that only time would tell if it could ever be healed. He had spent so long telling himself that his thing with Malfoy was wrong, that he needed to stop, for Ginny's sake, for the Weasley's sake, for his children's sake if nothing else. He had always wanted a family - children and a house with a picket fence around a neat little lawn and if he was honest he knew his son James was the reason he had kept up his lies for so long. He didn't want his son - his sons - to grow up in a broken home, shattered with lies and deceit. But the point was arbitrary because even as his family stood intact it _was_ already broken, it was built on a shoddy foundation, ready to crumble at a moment’s notice - and all because of his heart, his need, his obsession. But maybe it wasn't his obsession that was unhealthy, maybe it was his way of dealing with it that was.  
  
Someone told him once that love was a fickle thing and maybe at some point, long ago, Harry would have agreed. Maybe in those early days when he kissed Malfoy with equal parts passion and guilt, when he still believed he could stop, when he laid awake at night wondering if he was suffering from some weird post-traumatic stress by hooking up with his old school rival. Maybe he wanted to believe it, because then that would mean that one day he would wake and his growing obsession with Malfoy would be gone and he could go back to how everything used to be.  
  
But that was all just another lie, another delusion to keep him company as he dug himself deeper.  
  
Climbing the stairs felt both horrifying and freeing at the same time as Harry finally found his footing, his resolution. His heart had made a decision long ago and it was time to lay it all bare. He would apologize with all that he had, he would make sure she knew she and the kids would never want for anything, that he would provide for them and care for them. She could have everything but his heart because it wasn't his to give anymore. With a deep breath, he carefully pushed his bedroom door open, his tired eyes falling on his wife - her long tanned legs pulled up into her chest with her arms wrapped around them, her cheek resting on her knee as her blue eyes stared back at him.  
  
"Ginny." He said softly, taking a single step inside and feeling his heart break as she bit her lip and shook her head.  
  
"I know." She replied. "I've known, I saw you two and I thought that maybe Albus would..." she trailed off and shut her eyes, a tear streaking down her cheek and onto her knee. "You're done trying to fight for us, aren't you?"  
  
Harry looked at his feet as he nodded, tears leaking down his own face silently. "I'm so sorry Gin."  
  
  
  
****  
  
  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
Harry smiled tentatively, squinting through the bright sun at Draco Malfoy's expressionless face. "I want to take you to lunch, there's something we need to talk about."  
  
Malfoy frowned, rocking back on his heel as he regarded Harry silently. "I told you the other night Potter, I'm done with this. Now leave." He moved to shut the door but Harry had already anticipated it and his hand was wrapping around Malfoy's wrist before he could touch the painted wood. Malfoy's gray eyes flashed dangerously as Harry stepped closer, his hand tightening as the blonde's gaze flicked down to his fingers wrapped around the man's skin - his pink lips opening and snapping shut as confusion drifted across his face. Malfoy sucked in a breath as he glanced back up at Harry, something unreadable and uncertain in his eyes.  
  
Harry knew what had caught his attention, what had stolen his venomous outburst, it was the lack of a single gold band around his ring finger - a pale stretch of skin the only thing to indicate that he had worn one for years. He smiled widely as he crowded closer to the other man, his hand sliding slowly up his pale arm until he was curling his fingers around his neck, breathing him in as his heart pounded off beat in his chest, stuttering with nerves. "I'm so sorry it took me so long but I was hoping that maybe, we could-"  
  
Malfoy didn't let him finished, his chin jutting forward and capturing Harry's lips in an urgent kiss - the man’s aristocratic hand cupping his chin as the other one snaked around Harry's waist, tugging until he was pressed snugly against the man's long lean body. The touch felt unbearably close, burning through him, washing away with wave after wave the fear that he had screwed up for too long, that Malfoy wouldn't have him. He gripped his blonde hair, tipped his head back and kissed him like he'd wanted to for so long, with nothing between them.  
  
He knew they would have many trials to face in the upcoming months. That the Prophet would cut him up and devour him, that his separation from Ginny was going to be beyond painful, that he would have to explain himself to so many people he loved and watch as they looked at him with disgust and outrage, that Draco would have to endure the backlash and hatred from people who didn't even know either of them. But Malfoy was leading him into his bedroom, kissing him fervently, stripping his clothes from his body lovingly, and pressing him into the soft sheets with words muttered against his skin that he didn't think he'd ever hear the other speak. He forced his eyes to stay open and gripped his pale back, gasping at the off white ceiling as their bodies moved together in a slow rhythm - the sun beating down upon the new month as Harry smiled against Malfoy's lips.  
  
Because his tethers had snapped, were snipped and frayed and burnt, and he was free – floating not a gust of urgency but on a quiet sea, ready to sink deep. He smiled because he never had to leave again.

**Author's Note:**

> So in all honesty I had never thought that I would actually write one of these fics because I just cannot picture Harry as the cheating type - he's so damn noble. But then I got to thinking about obsessive love and how it's been the downfall of so many since the beginning of time really and how we are all capable of it deep, deep, deep down (shudder to think). And Harry isn't perfect no matter how much I want him to be. So thus this fic was born - a story with extremely flawed characters (Harry is selfish, Draco is debasing in his possessive desire for more) and choices and the catalyst of what will be a horrible separation between him and Ginny. So while part of me finds this story romantic another part finds it horrible - ack does that make any since? 
> 
> Also I think this is the dirtiest thing I've ever written *blushes and hides face*. Needless to say I'm a bit nervous to share this story so I hope you all enjoy it despite everything.
> 
> Oh and I know I said I was going to post this like two weeks ago but time got away from me! Sorry if anyone was waiting for it


End file.
